Well, we got Colston's next surgery scheduled. His heart cath is on January 21 and his surgery January 26. 

I can't believe we are already here. I can't believe he is 5 months old today. It seems like just yesterday I was 22 weeks pregnant and we just got told there was something wrong with his heart. 

This year has been so crazy, there are moments where I forgot Justin and I got married this year! It seems like an entire lifetime ago. 

It's a funny thing, you know. It feels so normal to say things like, "gosh I can't believe how big he's getting" or "I can't believe how old he is". It's little things like that that heart parents cherish because we didn't know if we would make it this far. 

We were given about a 75% chance that Colston would make it to his second surgery and here we are, just a few weeks away. He's gaining weight like crazy and hitting all of his milestones. Apparently he didn't get the memo when they said there's a decent chance he will be delayed. 

Part of me is obviously dreading his surgery and just wants time to stand still. The other part of me just wants to get it over with so I can have my perfect little boy back at home. 

The good thing about his next surgery is that the recovery time should be (knock on wood) much shorter than last time. Colston did however surprise everyone with how well he did last time too. We were told to expect to be there for at least 6 weeks and even after two cardiac arrests and going on the ventilator four times we were home in 4 1/2 weeks. 

The cardiac interventionalist said it's the stubborn ones that make it. I've never been so thankful for my stubbornness in all my life. 

Justin, Colston, and I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!

I can't believe it has been almost a month since I last posted. I am so sorry! 

Life has been hectic this holiday season!

Colston had his first turkey day

 and he turned 4 months!

He now weighs 11 pounds. The cardiologist is very pleased with his weight gain. We now no longer have to worry about him not being big enough for his next surgery. 

Speaking of his next surgery,  I am waiting for the phone call from the doctor's in Las Vegas to schedule his next surgery for January. 

Part of me is completely dreading it (of course) but then another part of me just wants to get it done and over with.

His stent has been looking a little narrow the last couple of visits which the cardiologist said is to be expected because he is getting bigger. His oxygen sats have also gradually been getting lower every visit as well. Hopefully after his next surgery they even out. 

I have already packed away the clothes that don't fit Colston anymore, which are his preemie and newborn size clothes. It was so bittersweet. I am happy that he is growing but it is just too fast! The next thing we know he will be graduating high school!

We hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! We will update soon!

Vote for Colston!

I don't know why I didn't think to put this on here sooner!

Colston is in a Halloween costume contest put on by Sister's by Heart and he is currently in 7th place. Voting ends tonight at 9 pm Eastern time. 

Please vote! 

Can I tell you a secret? 

I voted for every kid that entered! They're all just so cute! 

Click here to vote! All you have to do is "like" the picture to cast your vote. 

Thank you! 

Hi Everyone.

Sorry it's been a while since I have made a post. I think I've finally found my routine and how to balance Colston's needs and being a stay at home mom.

I have to admit, being a stay at home mom is a lot more difficult than I realized, especially with a heart baby.

 Of all days for my to forget his pacifier, it was appointment day. Colston weighed in at 8 pounds 11 ounces!

He was not having it during his echo though. It was hard for the cardiologist to get a good look but he did see that Colston's stent might be a little narrow. 

I say might because Colston's crying could've made it look like something was there when it wasn't. His doctor ordered what's called a BNP blood test where Colston get's pricked in the foot. This test basically measures the stress on the heart. Thankfully those numbers came back normal so his doctor isn't concerned but it is definitely something we will be checking again at our next appointment.

If those BNP numbers came back out of the normal range, then his next surgery would be sooner. But for now we are still planning on his next surgery being in January when he is about six months. 

I can't believe we're already half way there! 

Here's some pictures of Colston from the last few weeks 

Colston had a great check up at the cardiologist yesterday.

We went two weeks in between appointments this time instead of our usual 7-10 days in between and I have to admit, I was getting a nervous. Luckily, Colston is doing very well. His oxygen sats are still in the high 80's and he weighs 8 pounds 1 ounce now! He gained a whole pound since his last appointment! 

The doctor is so pleased with his weight gain and we no longer have to feed Colston every three hours. We can feed him whenever he is hungry. This was so great to hear because it made me so sad to wake him up when it took so long to get him to sleep. 

The doctor also got paperwork going for our next surgery. That was hard to hear. Obviously we knew it was coming but I can't believe it's approaching so fast. I'm not ready for it, but I don't think I will ever be ready. Colston is much bigger and stronger than his first surgery and I'm happy that the doctor is so confident that he will do well.  

Giving Back

Hey everyone. 

Justin and I have been throwing around a lot of ideas lately on how to give back to the CHD community and raise awareness. 

We have donated some much needed items to the local Ronald McDonald House (and will still continue to do so) but we still want to do more. So I came up with an idea. 

A cookbook.

The cookbook will contain heart healthy recipes that will be submitted by people who either have a child or sibling with a CHD, or even themselves. Along with each recipe there will be a short dedication to their CHD warrior along with a picture of them (if you so choose). The cookbooks will be no more than 100 pages, depending on how many recipes we get, and $25.00.

 75% of the proceeds will go to The Children's Heart Foundation.

I already have a few recipes to add but I need more! They can be for any meal time. 

So fellow heart families, if you have a recipe you would like to add and a CHD warrior you would like to recognize, please e-mail me at j.k.krische@gmail.com 

If you don't have a recipe to add but would still like to recognize a heart warrior, just send an e-mail with the same requirements and I will add it to a recipe I already have. 

Thank you so much!

We decided to break up

That's right.

After three months of exclusively pumping, I decided to call it quits. It has been an extremely difficult decision and one that I did not take lightly. 

I don't know why but part of me feels like how much milk I can produce is a private thing and I always got a little uncomfortable when people would ask me how my supply was and if Colston was able to latch. But now that I have decided to let my milk dry up, I feel like it's important to explain why. 

Colston and I were robbed of the skin to skin, mommy-baby first time meeting moment, immediately get the baby feeding moment.

After he got cleaned up and weighed after birth, a nurse held him up to my face for only about a minute and then he was whisked away to the NICU. They put in a line for him to get nutrients through because he couldn't eat before his surgery. 

Now, normally moms get the stimulation to get milk flowing starting on day one, whether it be from baby or the pump. I was so sick after my c-section that I wasn't even coherent until about twelve hours after Colston was born, which resulted in me not being able to see him until then. They wouldn't let me see him in the NICU until I hadn't thrown up for at least an hour. 

I didn't try pumping until after his Hybrid surgery when he was three days old. 

Once my milk got flowing, I was able to produce 3-4 ounces per pumping session every 2-3 hours. It was great.

But then more and more problems were happening with Colston in the hospital and I didn't want to leave his side so I was going 4-5 hours in between pumps, sometimes longer. By the time we left the hospital I was getting 1-2 ounces per session. Not as much as before, but still not bad.

Now, for whatever reason, I am lucky if I get 10 mL per session. I have tried lactation cookies, tea, power pumping, Fenugreek....you name it and I have tried it. I even tried having Colston latch a couple times but he wasn't having it, a bottle is so much easier to get milk out of.

 My doctor just prescribed me Reglan to increase my supply but after doing some research I have found that it has some serious side effects that although are uncommon, I am not willing to chance. 

My low supply has been so stressful and has really taken a toll on me emotionally. When Colston was in the hospital it felt so good to pump for him because I felt like it was the only thing I could truly do for him. Part of me feels like I am failing him by quitting. The last couple weeks I have told myself I was going to quit pumping numerous times but always convinced myself to keep going because at least he was getting SOME breast milk in his bottles. As soon as it would be time for me to pump again, I would feel so much hate and disdain that I would get almost depressed. 

So after many conversations with my amazing and supportive husband, I decided to trade all the time I would spend pumping to snuggling on Colston and focusing on my job as a mother and a wife. Colston deserves a happy mom and Justin deserves a happy wife, not one who is continually upset and stressed.

Does he look upset about it?